Twenty Lies
by jin.toshikazu
Summary: He can't tell the truth. She can't answer with silence. So they lie. NaruIno


Summary: He can't tell the truth. She can't answer with silence. So they lie. NaruIno

A/N: This is going to be a longer than your usual Twenty Truths. Major alert: Sai is going to be really, really, really OOC. Other pairings will also be implied, so squint a little. ^_^

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

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**Twenty Lies**

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**One**

She has always known that Hinata secretly watches Naruto all the time.

She knows how the Hyuuga heiress hides behind walls or doors just to get a glimpse of that boy, and how she goes out of her way to bump into him, and how she takes an extra minute to fix her hair before she approaches him. She knows how she tries not to blush whenever they talk but ends up turning red all over anyway.

She knows all this because the truth is that she watches him too. Like Hinata, she also makes inconspicuous efforts to cross his path, and she makes sure she looks good whenever they meet. Sometimes she blushes too – but it's always after they talk, when she's alone in her room and all she could think of is his cheeky smile.

But unlike Hinata, she never gets found out. Because it pays to come from a family of spies.

She is seventeen the first time a better spy catches her watching him.

"You like Uzumaki, don't you?" the squad captain asks, and she can't believe that Morino Ibiki is actually smirking at her.

She rolls her eyes. "Duh."

**Two**

If you asked Naruto what his deepest, darkest, most intimate secret is, he would probably tell you that ramen is not his favorite food.

But the truth is that the only secret he's kept all to himself all these years is that he doesn't really want his pink haired team mate as much as he pretends to. Inside, he knows that the girl he really wants is the sharp tongued, loudmouthed blonde who furtively meets up with Kakashi each afternoon for training and brings flowers to Asuma's grave _every single day_.

He wants nothing else but to tell the world how he feels, but he can't. Because Ino already loves someone else, and he can't risk losing her friendship.

So during Chouji's bachelor party, when it is his turn in the game of spin the bottle and Kiba asks Naruto what his deepest, darkest, most intimate secret is, the man just grins.

"Ramen is not my favorite food. It's barbecue."

**Three**

Most of her friends think that it's Sakura's fault why their friendship fell apart. After all, it was the pink haired ingrate who chose a boy over that somebody who befriended her even though she was nobody. The bitter part of her thinks that Sakura deserves to be blamed, because she did break their friendship for a stupid crush.

But the kinder part of her knows better. And sometimes she feels guilty whenever Sakura is bashed for ruining their friendship. Because the truth is that they would have never grown apart if she just told the truth that day Michiko asked her the fateful question that Sakura overheard. She should have gone with who _she _really wanted, not who everybody else wanted.

"So, Ino, I heard you're crushing on someone. Who's he?"

From the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of the familiar boy who had the same blonde hair and blue eyes she had.

She smiled and then looked at Michiko in the eye, putting on her most convincing face. "Uchiha Sasuke."

**Four**

Jealousy was never a word in his vocabulary.

No matter how much he tried to prove them wrong, most of the people around him thought that he was a monster to stay away from. By the time he became a part of Team 7, he had simply decided that he was just going to accept whatever they thought about him. He was going to continue his quest to become Hokage and hope that by the time his dream came true, his people would welcome him with open arms.

To yearn for love was one thing. To envy those who were loved was another. It was clear to him that he felt the first.

What he couldn't explain was why he felt a stabbing pain in his chest every time he saw Ino jump into Sasuke's back and make him carry her piggy-back, her arms around his neck, while the usually grouchy Uchiha uncharacteristically tolerated her.

"Why do you let her do that, anyway?" He once asked his team mate after another 7 and 10 meeting that Ino promptly spent having Sasuke carry her on his back.

"Why do you care, dobe? Are you jealous?" Sasuke irritably growled back.

He stood still for a moment and then feigned a hearty Naruto laugh. "Hello? In case you've forgotten, I like Sakura. Not Ino."

**Five**

"I-ino… Sas-suke… He l-left,"

For once in her life, she didn't know what to say when she opened the door and found her childhood friend standing at the doorstep. Sakura was a mess – her clothes rumpled, her hair disheveled and her eyes tear-stained. She was trembling, sobbing uncontrollably.

And before she knew it, tears were welling in her blue eyes too.

She remembered the day she met Sakura. The class meanies were bullying her because of her appearance, and the poor pink haired girl didn't know what else to do but cry.

Just like what Sakura was doing now.

She knew deep inside that just like what she did eight years ago, _she had to be there for Sakura_. Because even though her friend chose a boy over their friendship… she was _still her friend_.

Her tears were for Sakura and for herself; for their friendship that a boy – no, a lie – destroyed. But for the mean time, to share with Sakura's pain, she had to pretend that they were for someone else. And hope that she could mend the bond that lie broke… with another lie.

"I-Ino… he's g-gone… I can't l-live with t-this… I c-can't live w-without h-him…"

She let her tears fall freely and embraced her crying friend tightly.

"Sakura…I know how you feel…"

**Six**

"A mission with just the two of us?"

The moment he heard those words from Ino, his heart skipped a beat. The rest of what the busty old woman in front of him said, most of which was an explanation of how Ino didn't have a choice, was all a blur because the only thing that was important to him was that he was finally going to be with the one he had always wanted to be with.

He remembered all those times he ate his heart out whenever he secretly watched Ino leave the village with Neji or Shino for a mission, those silent-type guys she was said to work with very well. How his chest tightened whenever Neji or Shino, the supposedly silent guys, talked with her as they walked away. How he closed his eyes when she was just a small speck of purple in the horizon and utter two silent prayers: that she would return to Konoha safe and that he would finally have the courage to tell her the truth when she came back.

"But Hokage-sama! You can't be serious about this! I and he –" Ino started to complain.

He didn't know how long he could put up with this, with his own cowardice. But for now he had to lie, if only to be with her.

He groaned. "Hey, Ino. If you think you're the only one who's not happy about this, you're wrong."

**Seven**

The mission was class D, meaning it was a trivial task for a trivial shinobi. It was humiliating as it was annoying, not even requiring a single jutsu since the princess didn't need her skills but only her face and figure. In other words it was downright dumb.

And so it was only natural that she complained endlessly until everyone around her had sore ears, but the truth was that it was all for show. Inside she couldn't be happier, because no matter how bad the mission was, she was with Naruto. And for her, that was enough.

It just killed her inside that she couldn't tell him what she really felt, because he had always made it clear that he wanted one and only one girl, and it was _not her_. All she could do was make as much noise and fuss as she could around him, bash and beat him occasionally, if only to make Naruto be aware of and feel her presence.

"You beat me up even worse than Sakura-chan!" the tied-to-the-tree jinchuuriki protested after Ino punched him in the face, following his blunt attempt to seduce the chubby prince.

Ino promptly delivered another whack on his head. "That's because you're a moron!"

**Eight**

"Would this mean that I tried my best to get someone I really didn't like …?"

He only looked at her as she asked herself the question, as if he had no idea what she was talking about. But the truth was that he perfectly understood. After all, Ino did it for a mission. He did it for real.

"But you know, the results were pretty good, weren't they? Both of them seemed happy." He offered for comfort.

"That's not the problem." She replied. "My virgin soul is scarred. I faked a proposal towards someone I didn't like…"

"And in the end, you didn't even come into the picture." He finished.

"Stop it! I don't even want to remember it!"

He looked down at the earth his feet were trampling. The mission was over, which meant that his borrowed time with her was over too. In a few hours they would be back in Konoha, where he would have to share her with everyone again.

He smiled sadly. Why did he feel so bitter?

"You never know about people's preferences…" he said before he could even realize what he just did.

"No, I definitely won't admit it! Boys like girls who are slim! In order to polish myself as a girl, I'm going to diet!" she sad as she ran towards the setting sun, leaving him to trail behind.

He looked at the ground again. He wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that he would like her even if she wasn't slim, that he would liker her as long as she was Ino.

But he could only do so much.

"Yeah, you better do that. Because with a mouth as loud as yours, the only reason why a guy will put up with you is because he thinks you're pretty."

**Nine**

He had always been aware that Ino often got romantically linked with men whose names began with the letter S: her childhood crush Sasuke, her team mate Shikamaru, her usual mission partner Shino. The ANBU captain Soujiro, Kiba's visiting cousin Sesshoumaru and the arrogant archeologist from Egypt, Seto.

He hated that fact and he hated all of those guys even more. But what he hated most was that his name didn't even have a single letter S in it.

So when he met the new guy who was supposed to complete Team 7 again and learned that his name was Sai, he felt resentment. He knew he was being selfish, not wanting him to be close to her, but then again, was wishing for one's own happiness selfish?

"Yamanaka Ino, from the Yamanaka florists."

"Nice to meet you… Ms. Beautiful."

His world stopped. Blue eyes cast a glance on the blonde girl in front. She was speechless for a few seconds and then broke into a happy smile that never left her face again, even after Sakura threw her fit.

When everything was calm again, he turned back to Sai. "That girl you called beautiful? She's even more terrible than Sakura. She never stops talking and she never stops whining. If she thinks you like her, she'll follow you around and annoy you to death. Honestly, she's the worst person to like, so don't call her beautiful anymore, okay?"

**Ten**

She was smiling and grinning, acting happy all the time, but inside she felt only bitterness.

She thought that after having been partners for a mission, she and Naruto would grow close, but apparently she was wrong. She had watched him from the corner of her eye while she was being introduced to Sai. He had no creases on his forehead, no down-turned lips, no soundless grumbling - no hint of even the slightest jealousy.

In short he didn't care. In short she was still nothing to him, like how things had always been.

She wanted to tell him how she really felt, but what good was that going to do? He wanted someone else, and knowing the truth about what she felt for him was not going to change that. So just like she had been doing all her life, she put on her mask and pretended that she was truly happy.

"Well, so what do you think about that Sai guy?" Chouji asked after the meal, when the three of them were walking home together.

Shikamaru yawned. "Troublesome."

"Come on, Shikamaru. He's a bit weird but he's not that bad." Chouji said. "What do you think, Ino?"

She forced a happy squeal. "He called me beautiful! Kami, I am so into that guy!"

**Eleven**

"Oh, Sai… I don't know what to say… This is beautiful." She said as the boy showed her what he was drawing, a perfect image of her beaming with happiness, surrounded by her beloved flowers.

Sai smiled. " I'm very happy that you liked it. It'll be my pleasure to give it to you as a gift once it's done."

He groaned covertly. Happy that she liked it? The nerve. Sai didn't event have feelings. He was telling her a downright lie and she was oh-so-happy believing it. He wished she knew what a jerk Sai was.

He also wished that she knew how he really felt for her. But then again, he knew that he was not the one she wanted. Never was, and probably never will. He didn't want to compromise their friendship, so all he could do but be contented with who he was to her now – her friend. He wasn't fine with it, but right now, what else could he do?

"You okay, Naruto?" Sakura asked. "You look like you're planning for the next world war or something. What's the matter?"

He smiled and dismissed Sakura's question with a flick of his hand. "It's nothing."

Sakura smiled reservedly, and then bit her lip. "Um, Naruto… You've liked me for so long, right?"

He faked a grin. "Of course, Sakura-chan!"

"Well… I've been thinking… um… would you… well… you wanna go out tonight? I mean, just for ramen and stuff?"

His eyes were on the pink-haired woman in front of him, but he could still hear the sound of shy laughter coming from the blonde woman his team mate was talking to.

Why? Why Sai? Why not him?

"Sure, Sakura-chan. I'd love that. See you tonight?"

**Twelve**

"You are beautiful."

He had always told her this, and she had always known that it was a lie. Her power was her mind, but she didn't need any jutsu to be able to read him. All she needed was her heart. She knew that his smiles he gave her were fake, and so was the beam he had on his face whenever she hugged him, and so was the warm grin he had whenever she asked him to carry her on his back and he complied.

After all, she was like Sai somehow. The smiles she gave him were fake as well, and so was the beam she had on her face whenever he let her hug him, and so was the warm grin she had as he carried her on his back.

She supposed that they were even then – he lied to her and she lied to him, although she wasn't sure if he knew that she was only pretending that she liked him. No, not likely anyway. She was a good actress and she knew it. Ten years of being able to hide what she really felt for this certain boy was enough proof.

Of course she was wrong to assume that Sai would overlook things like that. Sai was an artist of ink, the same way she was an artist of flowers. Maybe he didn't have a heart of a human, but he had the heart of an artist , and just like her, it was what he used to see through things.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Beautiful. There's something wrong with my strokes. I'll make a better one next time." He told her with an apologetic smile as he tossed the canvas he had been drawing a portrait of her on into the box of discards.

"But why? It's perfect, Sai." she said, eyeing the painting. "What's wrong with your strokes?"

"I'm not sure." Sai answered. "…maybe it isn't my strokes that are wrong. There are other elements…."

She could read between his lines, and she chose not to answer.

"Is there something wrong?" Sai asked softly, looking straight at her eyes.

It was hard to lie to an artist, to someone who used something other than his eyes to see. But she could try. She had to try.

"I'm sorry, Sai. Maybe I'm just too tired to pose for you today."

**Thirteen**

All things can be learned in time, her father once said.

Throughout the years, she had learned justsus for fighting, for interrogating and for healing. She had learned how to set aside her feelings and just focus on the accomplishment of the mission. She had learned how to wear a mask, to pretend that you were what you were not.

The only thing she never really learned was how to forget him.

"I've always thought that you're beautiful, you know." Sai said.

She laughed. "Don't try to flatter me, Sai. We both know that you say the opposite of what you really think."

"Well, that was before, Ms. Beautiful. But somewhere along the way I learned that it's easier to say what you really think. And it feels a lot better too."

"Hmmm…"

"I've always thought that you're beautiful." He repeated. "Aesthetically perfect. That's why I've always wanted to paint you."

It was only then that she realized that he had never completed any of the paintings of her that he began.

"…but you never finished any of them…" she said.

The painter sighed. "Because something is wrong. It's not my strokes… there's something in you that I can't copy into the canvass. A deep, incomprehensible, unexplainable emotion. I've felt it since the first time I tried to paint you."

She didn't say anything.

"Do you understand, Ino? I can feel. You made me feel."

And as he took her hands into his, she wondered if she would ever learn to forget Naruto and love another man instead.

"I love you, Ino."

All things could be learned in time, her father once said. Maybe if she tried really hard, she could also learn how to love this man who loved her and not that man who loved her best friend.

"I love you too, Sai."

**Fourteen**

"So it's true, huh? It's really Sai and Ino now." Sakura said as she watched the raven-haired boy and the golden-haired girl pass by, holding each others' hands.

He heard what Sakura said, but he didn't take his eyes off the bowl of ramen in front of him. No, he didn't dare look at him, the bastard who now claimed the only thing he ever really wanted for himself. The more that he didn't want to look at her, the princess, now in the arms of the stone prince she gave feelings to. She looked happy and contented, just as she always was, and he supposed that she would never know how much she had hurt him.

He didn't want to see them. It would be too overwhelming, and he knew better than to lose control.

So he kept wolfing down the bowl of noodles, trying to bury his feelings as deep as he could inside that part of his chest that kept on beating painfully.

Was this really what was meant to be? She and Sai, he and Sakura?

"I hate to say this because Ino's my friend, but… I envy her." Sakura sighed.

He gulped down the last of the beef-flavored soup and put the ramen bowl down with a definitive clunk. "You're jealous because she has a boyfriend?" he said, strong feelings still brewing in his voice.

Sakura noticed it and looked down on the floor, biting her lip. Maybe she should have been more subtle about letting her know that she wanted him too now… "No, Naruto… I…"

He heaved a heavy breath. If this was really what was meant to be…

"Sakura, I love you. Will you be my girlfriend?"

**Fifteen**

"Your partner for this mission is Uzumaki Naruto."

She smiled bitterly to herself as she remembered the exact same scene seven years ago, when the Hokage told them that they were going to be mission partners for the first time. She acted all upset and frustrated, but the truth was that it was one of the happiest moments in her life.

She remembered every detail of that mission clearly. They were so anxious on their way to their destination, but the whole world came crashing down when the princess told them what she wanted to be done. The look on Naruto's face that moment was absolutely priceless.

There was no way she could forget how he followed her around during the first few days of the mission, especially when she threw in the towel after the prince gave him the drool-swathed rose. That night before she slept, he went to her room and told her that things were going to be fine; they just had to hang on. He did take things into his own hands the next day, and she had fun beating him up after he peed on her.

But the best part was undoubtedly the walk back home. He was there to make her feel better after being snubbed by the prince, and even though she pretended that all she cared about was her looks, she would never forget what he said about never really knowing what people's preferences truly were.

So many things had changed since that day seven years ago. Now she was a jounin, dubbed Ibiki's successor, and went only on class B and class A missions. Her eyes were duller, having witnessed the many horrors brought by the shinobi life, and now her smiles were earmarked, given less freely. She got rid of the ponytail, wearing her long hair straight, just the way Sai liked it.

She looked at the man in front of him, who had changed greatly too. Gone was the boy who believed that you could be anything you want to be; in his places stood a man stained and scarred by time, who believed only in the fact that there was a heavy line between dreams and reality.

So many things had changed. But one thing remained the same.

"It is an honor to work with you again, Uzumaki-san." she said.

"Likewise. But please call me by my first name, just like the old times. It's been so long since we last worked together, ne, Ino?"

She allowed herself a small smile. "Yes. It's been so long I can't even remember."

**Sixteen**

If it was all up to him, he would never have accepted that mission.

It wasn't because he didn't want to be with her. It was precisely because he wanted so much to be with her, and he knew that it wasn't right because she was with Sai and he was with Sakura. Now they were in a circumstance where they had no choice but to work with each other and depend on one another; it was all those little moments together that were going to make his love for her grow stronger and he knew it.

"See them anywhere?" she whispered to him as she continued to look around.

He tried to focus on the work at hand, but how could he when he was with her? "No. I'm not feeling their chakras, either. You think we've lost them?"

"Not exactly. You two are too noisy for ninjas, really." A voice behind him said.

He turned around and saw three people behind him – his former best friend's brother, in all his red-eyed glory, and a blue man wearing the same red and black coat that Uchiha Itachi had on.

The third person was the woman that Hoshigaki Kisame held in front of him, a kunai pointed dangerously on her neck.

Ino.

"I suggest you give us back what you took from Tobi, if you want her to live."

He willed himself to keep his face blank as he took in the sight of her, struggling to breathe as the Akatsuki tightened his hold on her. She looked at him, a pained expression painted on her beautiful face as she strove to tell him one single word.

"D-don't…"

"It's your call, Uzumaki." Kisame said.

It tore him inside to see her in the enemy's arm, knowing that they were perfectly capable of killing her without as much as a second thought – if he would allow it. Now he had to choose between the welfare of the village he swore to protect and the life of the woman he had been secretly feeling for since he was a child.

But again, he was a shinobi, and there were things that had to be done. Decisions that had to be made not based on what one really wanted, but based on how much one wanted to keep his home safe.

Inside his heart bled. Outside he smirked.

"Go ahead, kill her. You think she matters to me? Well you're wrong. She's just another kunoichi."

**Seventeen**

"_You're sure about that?" a voice inside him that he was cognizant of whispered as he found himself traveling the familiar sewers that lead to where the demon laid. "You can let me out, you know. And then she could live without you having to give back what you took."_

"_You're staying inside." he answered._

"_You're going to let her die?"_

"_Yes."_

Kisame gave him a grim smile. "I see you've learned from your jounin-sensei's father's mistakes, eh? Well, I'm not hard to deal with. If you want me to kill her, I'll do it."

He raised the kunai he held, ready to plunge it into her neck.

_Inside himself, he came face to face with the fox._

"_You're going to let her die?" it asked once again._

"_Yes."_

She saw the kunai aimed at her neck. She took one last breath and then closed her eyes, perfectly accepting that life on earth was bound to end in death anyway, as one of her friends had always said.

"_You're going to let her die?"_

"_Yes."_

The shark man gave him an evil smile as he delivered the stab that would kill the only woman he had ever loved.

"_You're going to let her die?"_

"_Yes."_

He was inside himself, which meant that he wasn't supposed conscious about anything happening outside, but for an unexplained reason he could see her. And he could see that a tear had slipped from her right eye.

"_You're going to let her die?"_

"_Yes."_

The blade came in contact with her skin. A single drop of red.

_The noise inside was loud enough to make him deaf._

"_You're going to let her die?"_

"_Yes!" he screamed as he couldn't hold back and desperately opened the gates that bound the demon._

**Eighteen**

She woke up in a hospital bed at her country. Her eyelids fluttered slowly for a few seconds while her mind played between the boundaries of darkness and light – until finally fate decided that she should awake.

"Nurse, call the Hokage! She's awake!"

She turned her head to see Sai by her side, holding her hand tight, his usually blank face full of sincere worry. "Ino... I'm here. You'll be okay."

"I… Na- naruto…"

"He's in the other room with Sakura… He isn't that fine…but everything will be okay soon, trust me."

_He isn't that fine…_

"How are you feeling?" The Hokage asked as she came by her side.

"I'm okay…" she said weakly. She felt a slight pain on her neck, right where the wound she got from Kisame's kunai was, although she noticed that it had been treated and bandaged already.

"Do you remember what happened?"

Of course she did. How could she ever forget how Naruto, engulfed in Kyuubi's flames, tore Hoshigaki Kisame apart? Kisame was an enemy, even tried to kill her, but she could not help but cry as she watched the beast called Naruto mercilessly took his life.

And saved hers.

It was horrifying, something you'd think only a heartless man could do, but then again Naruto didn't really have much of a choice about what he did whenever the demon took control. All his body knew of was destruction.

"I… everything's a blur…" she replied.

"It's alright, love." Sai assured her. "You just need to rest."

"C-can I see Naruto?"

Sai looked at the Hokage. Tsunade sighed quietly and then gave her permission.

Sai helped her get on her feet and guided her all the way to the next room. Through the window she saw the man who saved her life laying in the hospital bed, wounded so badly that she couldn't even recognize him. Sakura was by his side, holding his hand while she cried soundlessly, waiting for him to wake up.

She couldn't bear the sight of her best friend crying for the same man she loved, who had offered his own life for hers. He could die anytime, and it would all be because of _her_.

"Ino…" Sai began. "I know this isn't the right time to tell you this… but this event made me realize one thing. I can't live without you."

She cast her tear-stained eyes at him as he held her hand and showed her a plain gold ring. "I can't bear the thought of you having to be away from me ever again. Will you be my wife?"

More tears flowed as she looked at the ring he was giving her. If there was one thing the event made her realize, it was that life was too short to spend with a person other than the one you truly loved. She hoped she could finally tell Naruto about what she really felt after the dust settled down. But now, watching Sakura cry over him, she realized that she couldn't do it. She would cause Sakura and Naruto and Sai too much pain.

She took one last look at the bond-haired boy inside the room before closing her eyes and uttering a desperate prayer.

_God, if you can hear me, I want to make a deal. You let Naruto live and I'll never bother him and Sakura again._

A few moments later the silence was shattered by a scream from inside the room.

"Hokage-sama! Naruto's waking up!" Sakura shouted.

That day, an angel fell from heaven.

Just as nurses and doctors began to rush to the room to attend to the patient, she opened her eyes and gave Sai her most convincing smile, hoping that if she could make it fake enough, it would soon be real.

"Yes, Sai. I want to marry you."

**Nineteen**

He found himself walking along a verdant field that went on as far as his eyes could see. He could hear the birds chirping cheerfully as he walked by lush trees that swayed to the cool breeze. The sky was an ocean of pure, kind, innocent blue – just like her eyes.

"Hello, son."

He turned around and saw a figure he had never seen before, of a tall man with corn-blonde hair and saxe blue eyes. But something inside him told him who that man was.

"Nice to finally see you, Dad."

Minato Namikaze grinned at his son as he sat down on a patch of green grass and bade the young man to sit next to him. "Why don't you give your old man a hug? It's been so long since I last held you."

He gladly complied. "I had no idea how much we looked alike, dad."

"Yes, your mother often told me that you got nothing from her at all. Although I'd say I think that isn't so bad."

"So, where exactly are we?" he asked his father.

"Between heaven and hell. This is the place you stay in when you've got important decisions to make. Pretty cool, huh?" Was the reply he got.

"Uh, so this is like the purgatory thing? Gee, I often wondered where ninjas went after they died. Do they go to heaven for serving their village or do they go to hell for being killing machines?"

Minato laughed. "What do you think? Where do you think did I go for abandoning my wife and son to save the village? Where do you think did Sakumo go for saving his loyal friends and letting the village suffer?"

He looked up at the skies. "I really don't know, Dad."

"You want to find out?"

He shot his old man an incredulous look. "But I'd have to be dead to find out!"

His father nodded. "Exactly. But that's a part of life. And death, actually. There are things you have to leave behind if you want to move on. If you choose to hang on to them, you can't ever let them go. Basically I'm asking you if you want to go now or not."

"Go now? To where?"

"I can't tell you. That's something you'll have to find out for yourself."

He thought about what his father said. Did he want to die now or did he still want to live? That place seemed nice and all compared to the world he was going to go back to, full of evil and greed and anger and lies – but then again…

"Can I ask a question?" he said sheepishly.

His father laughed. "You already did, but sure."

"Is… is Ino alive?"

"Who's Ino, son?"

"Erm, Yamanaka Inoichi's daughter… You know, blonde, blue eyes, shintenshin…"

"Of course I know the Yamanakas, I was Hokage once, remember? What I mean is who is Ino to you?"

He looked at his father, who looked right back at him.

"You know, I've been watching you for quite sometime from where I'm staying." Minato added. "All I can say is that you've told enough lies to go to hell that I was quite surprised they even sent me to talk to you about this. And just so you know, I'm not really thrilled by the fact that I gave my life up so my son could grow happy, but in the end he himself is making his own life miserable."

Naruto looked away. It wasn't his fault, was it? She always loved someone else, and someone else was always in love with her.

"But she loves somebody else. She always loves somebody else. Sasuke, Sai…"

"You're sure?" his father asked. "Because sometimes people don't seem to be who they are. You of all people should know that, son."

"Well, is she alive or dead?" Naruto asked again.

His father looked around. "See her anywhere?"

Naruto looked around too, but it seemed like he and his father were the only people – well, whatever they now were – who were in that place.

"No." he answered.

"Then she's alive."

He stood up. "I love you Dad, and I swear I want spend more time with you. But I have to leave and live. We're just going to have to wait a little longer."

Minato smiled again. "I know, son. You're just like I thought you were, and I want you to know that I'm proud of you for wanting to live. Life is the best gift you could receive and you should live it to the fullest."

"I'm not going to hold you any longer, because your time's ticking and you have to hurry if you want to make it." Yondaime continued. "Now listen. Just tell your heart the reason why you want to live, and if it's still pure enough to hear you, you'll make it."

"That's all I have to do?"

"Well, yeah. And if you make it Namikaze Naruto, can you do me a favor? Make sure you live the life you really want. I don't want to see you miserable because you had to give way for your friends. Sometimes you need to think about yourself too."

He smiled at his father. "Dad, this is the life I really want. She's alive, I can watch her from a distance and know what I'm the reason why she's still around to make the world smile. That's enough."

**Twenty**

"You're looking good, Naruto." Sai commented as he put the basket of fresh flowers on the table beside his team mate's bed.

Naruto grinned. It was his second week in the hospital, and the Hokage said his recovery was stunning. "Thanks, Penis-boy. How's Ino?"

"She's okay, but she's at home with her parents. Inoichi-san doesn't want her to strain herself. She just got out of the hospital yesterday."

"I'm glad to know she's fine." He said honestly, trying not to crack up. He wanted to see her, to touch her -

"Hey, there's something I want to tell you." Sai said, smiling.

He grinned at his friend again. "Go ahead."

"Ino and I are getting married next month."

Time stopped, and the world froze over. He kept the grin on his face, but inside he was dying. He knew that he had always told himself that watching her be happy in the arms of another man was enough for him, but now, he suddenly realized that it was even more painful than it already was. He looked away so Sai wouldn't see how glazed his eyes had become.

"C-congratulations, Sai… I didn't see that coming…"

Sai's smile grew wider. "I know, being numb and stuff… but you know, she gave me feelings. She's all that matters to me, and I can't make it without her."

The pain in his chest grew more and more excruciating as he looked at the happy man longer. She shouldn't be the one laying on this bed. He should be the one who was happy. He should be the one who was marrying Ino.

"Anyway," Sai continued, "I wanted to ask you if you could be my best man. I mean, I've made a lot of friends since I arrived, but you and Sakura were the first ones I had. Ino's asked her to be the maid of honor. What do you say, Naruto?"

He closed his eyes. She was getting married to his team mate, and his team mate wanted him to be the best man, to be there when it happened, to be in front of the fucking platform when she promised to God and to the world that she would be his.

He wished he knew that this was going to happen so he could've just chosen to stay with his father. For seventeen years he had been hiding what he felt for her, dreaming of the day when he would finally be able to tell her that he loved her.

Now it became even more certain that ever that it was never going to happen.

He tried to burry all the pain away into the darkest recess of his heart as he smiled at Sai.

"Sure, Sai. It'll be my pleasure to be your best man."

**- - - - - - -**

"So you agreed to be Sai's best man?" Sakura asked as she tucked him into bed that night.

He looked at the flowers that Sai had brought for him. Of course they were from the Yamanaka florists, which meant that maybe, just maybe, she herself chose them, she herself prepared them, and she herself had wanted to send them to him.

"Anything for Sai." He said weakly. _And everything for Ino._

His official girlfriend took a deep breath. "Naruto…"

"Yeah?"

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you since you woke up."

He turned to Sakura and noticed that tears were welling on her eyes. "Why are you crying, Sakura? Is everything alright? What's wrong?"

"W-when you were i-in a coma… I…I was beside y-you, waiting for you to w-wake up…" the pink-haired medic began, unable to control her sobs. Tears started streaming down her face. "Be-bef-fore you op-pened your eyes, you k-kept saying one name _over and over again_."

_Just tell your heart the reason why you want to live._

"Y-you kept calling In-no's name…"

He inhaled one sharp, deep breath.

All the time they were together, Sakura had been very patient with him – she adjusted to his schedules and his moods, she looked after him and always had his interest in mind, and she always did things that she thought would make him happy. Now that he was hurt, she was the one beside him, selflessly giving her time and efforts to take care of him

Sakura had been nothing but good to him all these years. She didn't deserve this much hurt.

"You know, a-all these years I've always not-ticed that you l-looked at her in a d-different way. When we were y-younger you would n-never approach the playground whenever sh-she was there, but after every-yone's gone, you w-would always sit on the same swing where she s-sat. When we grew up T-team Ten was your favorite t-team, you'd hang out with Shika and Ch-chouji whenever you had t-time and y-you'd make sure we sat near th-them when we ate at the barbecue house. And now… N-naruto, all this time we were t-together in this relationship, do you have any id-dea how many times you've said Ino's name in your sleep?"

She wiped her tears away so she could look at him straight in the eye and ask him the question.

"T-Tell me, Naruto. Do you love Ino?"

He looked away, unable to meet her pleading green eyes.

He had spent his entire life living a lie. Did it matter if he told the truth now? She was getting married to his team mate.

He had always heard the saying that truth would set one free. Now he knew better than to believe it. The truth always brought nothing but hurt and pain to those who didn't deserve it.

Lies were so much kinder.

"Tell me, Naruto." Sakura said more firmly this time. "Do you love Ino?"

The boy who wanted to be Hokage looked at the skies and asked his father to forgive him. He summoned all the courage he had left to face his girlfriend again, ignoring the cries of the beating thing in his chest as blue met green.

He braced himself for the biggest lie of all.

"No."

* * *

Whew! Took me a few months to get this one out. Happier sequels may come – or not. I seem to be having a difficult time thinking of a happy ending for this couple. What do you think?


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